Sometimes life throws you a curve. How many times have we all heard that saying? How many times has it come true? How many times have you created the curve that was thrown?
I had a curve thrown at me this week and I felt it. However, this time I didn't react to it like I might have in my past. I "felt "about it if that makes sense. I felt this person, had an issue going on inside them that might have been eating away at them for some time and they chose to throw it at me. Hey, I caught it! I feel sad for them now. They have lived a difficult life apparently and no one really took notice or if they did, they were cruel about it. I didn't know this till now.
I was in conversation with someone online this week and another saw our conversation and felt like adding in their two cents. Generally I like hearing others thoughts or ideas but this one was thrown so far off base and squarely at me in an unfair way. I thought about it for a while and felt that this person was angry or hurt by someone. They made me feel like I was one of the ones doing the hurting! I was not, as I wasn't even talking about them or to them at all. Something they read made them feel compelled to lash out. Maybe some sort of trigger buried deep within them was set off and others on the outside were never aware of the deep emotional pain they were feeling.
Someone earlier this year told me that this was my year that the "weeding out of negative people" would happen to me. I am beginning to think they were right. The weeding began but not by my choice! It is just happening. It makes you think how can that be?
If you know that something is unhealthy for you, generally you try to avoid that thing or person and move on. What about if you didn't know something was unhealthy for you until you started feeling bad every time you came in contact with it? Then the pieces start to fall together and your eyes seem to open wider and your heart begins to feel that ache. Then you know.
So it's not easy going through this process. They always say, that when one door closes another one opens. Open those doors please!
I guess it will have to be one of life's great mysteries for me why certain people chose to remove themselves from your life. Someone on the outside looking in might say, well, if this isn't the first time this has happened to you this year, then might it be something that you, yourself are doing or maybe you are unaware of how others perceive you? That might be but if one truly believes they were just being themselves and not being rude to others and know in their own hearts that they did nothing out of the ordinary, then you can only wonder what it is that the other party really has going on deep within. If you lead your life with your heart, you will feel for them. As do I.
One particular weeding out that has happened already to me was from someone who appeared to be threatened by anothers success. If you cannot reach the other party by genuine care and concern for them, and by asking real questions that they do not want to answer, you have to let it go. It's not you, it's something that is going on within them. That is a difference that one must learn. Maybe that is the lesson?
I used to say to someone, why are you always so positive acting? It cannot be the real you. They replied, "it's the real me. I'd rather project myself in a positive light where other positive people reflect back on me in ways that make us all feel better." And then he went on to say, that when one is acting positive it tends to roll over into yourself and you just feel better about yourself and you attract others like you. Now I can understand this.
If you are negative or down on the world all the time, it not only wears yourself out but others around you. No one wants to keep hearing the wrongs of the world day in and day out. So people start, pulling away from you, keeping their distance, as you keep digging your own hole of darkness. It's not a pretty place. I've been there.
It is hard to just try to keep yourself afloat in today's world with all the negativity the media often focuses in on. However, there are many others out there that choose to put their focus in the good and inspirational things they hear or find in our big, beautiful world, we call earth.